Showing posts with label Washington. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Washington. Show all posts
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
East Meets West in “Mr. Lee Goes to Washington”
Bruce Lee and George Washington to rise from the dead to film “Best f*cking kung-fu movie ever”.
Director Michael Bay confirmed the resurrection of the United States’ 1st president and of movie legend Bruce Lee this morning. The director hopes that by adding such a smashing cast to his most recent movie, “Mr. Lee Goes to Washington”, he’ll finally end up with a movie worth watching.
Director Michael Bay confirmed the resurrection of the United States’ 1st president and of movie legend Bruce Lee this morning. The director hopes that by adding such a smashing cast to his most recent movie, “Mr. Lee Goes to Washington”, he’ll finally end up with a movie worth watching.
Obviously, since the movie is directed by Michael Bay, Washington will end up killing Bruce Lee in good patriotic form, as the Asian menace destroys half of the US to feed on the souls of Vietnam War veterans. “It’s going to be some awesome ass-kicking from beginning to end,” confirmed Bay while eating a meatball sub. “And it will involve a lot of explosions. Duh.”
Brother to a Brother?
Recent genealogical studies by the Mormons have led to an interesting discovery. “At first, I thought it was a mistake, but then it dawned on me that the Lord works in mysterious ways,” declared Jebediah Fields, the young Mormon archivist who made the discovery.
It would seem that Hollywood star Keanu Reeves, to star in the upcoming Metroid movie due 2010, has a long-lost brother. And who would this brother be? No one else than Hollywood star, Denzel Washington.
According to archivist Jebediah Fields, their ancestry seems to merge somewhere around 1785, when a young black man fled from his master in the United-States and married to an old British woman, named Lindsay Chestingtonsborywillowshire.
When confronted with this shocking news, film expert Leonard Maltin seemed pleased. He agreed without a doubt that “Denzel and Keanu are clearly of the same fibre. You only have to watch Keanu’s marvellous performance in Constantine, and compare it to Denzel’s rendition of Lt. Parker Barnes in Virtuosity to realize that their line delivery and acting are a genetic gift.”
“We can only hope to see them side by side in a gloriously epic, action-packed police thriller,” added Maltin, who seemed on the verge of tears.
It would seem that Hollywood star Keanu Reeves, to star in the upcoming Metroid movie due 2010, has a long-lost brother. And who would this brother be? No one else than Hollywood star, Denzel Washington.
According to archivist Jebediah Fields, their ancestry seems to merge somewhere around 1785, when a young black man fled from his master in the United-States and married to an old British woman, named Lindsay Chestingtonsborywillowshire.
When confronted with this shocking news, film expert Leonard Maltin seemed pleased. He agreed without a doubt that “Denzel and Keanu are clearly of the same fibre. You only have to watch Keanu’s marvellous performance in Constantine, and compare it to Denzel’s rendition of Lt. Parker Barnes in Virtuosity to realize that their line delivery and acting are a genetic gift.”
“We can only hope to see them side by side in a gloriously epic, action-packed police thriller,” added Maltin, who seemed on the verge of tears.
However, both stars were unreachable to deliver the good news.
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