Bill Cosby Targeted by Jell-O Attack

A story of vengeance? Perhaps.

Tired of being second fiddle to actor Bill Cosby, Jell-O decided to go all out on the 71 year old man. Jell-O has been known to have led a life of abuse and drugs since its inception, leading to its arrest in 1988, at the height of its career, when it beat up a hooker to death.

By mixing its Jelloey genes to nitro-glycerine, Jell-O developed a taste... FOR DANGER! Disguising itself as an unsuspecting trash can left in Cosby's driveway, Jell-O waited for the perfect moment to set off its explosive recipe.

Actor Cosby left his home that morning and noticed the misplaced trash can as he went to his 1981 DeLorean DMC-12 (acquired from the props of 80’s hit "Back to the Future"). Waiting for the perfect moment, Jell-O committed suicide in front of Cosby, planning to take down the old man as the same time.

"Bam! Boom! Ka-pow! Kablooey went that shit!" said Cosby to the media today after the attack, looking slightly confused (this was later dismissed as his normal look, as his doctor confirmed).

It’s a terrible tragedy to see such a household staple go bad, but years of neglect could only lead to such an event. Its suicide was probably not just for show, but also a cry for help.

A funeral will be held for Jell-O next Friday at 4p.m., at the Beth Sholom Synagogue, as per Jell-O's Jewish heritage.

A picture of Jell-O's last moments.

Angelina's new love affair?

Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie has dismissed rumours suggesting that she is heading for a split with partner Brad Pitt, insisting that she is the "happiest" woman.

The Hollywood couple's relationship has been put under the spotlight in recent weeks, with speculations that their paradise is in trouble ever since Angelina went on a date with former cousin Bill Cosby last month.

The star has insisted she is still very much in love with herself.

"I am in love and I have the most beautiful family. What else can a girl want? I am the happiest woman ever. We're so lucky," said the actress.

The pair has thirty-four children -- 3 adopted - Maddox , Pax and Zahara - and 31 of their own - Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew, Andrew, Joseph, Ethan, Daniel, Christopher, Anthony, William, Ryan, Nicholas, David, Tyler, Alexander, John, James, Dylan, Zachary, Brandon, Jonathan, Samuel, Christian, Benjamin, Justin, Nathan, Jose, Logan, also cocks.